DoaD #21 - Rotten Fruit Without Roots
Wow, is that the wind? Can you even hear me?
Oh, wow. It's beautiful, right now. Oh my.
This is episode 21 of Diary of a Daoist. Today was opening up some [“hello bird”] opening up some conversations about [“Whoa, that is a fucking huge horse fly or a moth. Oh, my”] today was fucking hot.
I almost forgot what I was talking about.
Today I was reading Rish’s dissertation about east-to-west cultural appropriations in terms of traditions; Mehndi, Bindis, and OM etc. All these things are so heavily rooted in Indian culture and history, used in celebration and ritual, connecting them to their ancestors. When they come over to the West, they’re picked apart and seen as commodities, only really being accepted when these little Caucasian fucks, myself included, perform this ritual with no idea of the history and the cultural significance. Turning it into a fun little game and end up diluting this whole history.
That's the basis of what I got from reading that Diss, I’m halfway through, but it's very helpful to check myself in terms of what I'm trying to do with this. How much of this Daoist way of life, being that I am Caucasian and my nationality is rooted in England and Ireland and this part of the world? How much of that culture and that part of the world should I be allowed to even absorb?
It's only really come over because of the colonization and trade routes that were set up, and these Caucasian scholars going over and trying to ‘teach the Word of God to the world’. Who, in finding these other ways of seeing, took the stuff on the surface of what they found cool, brought it back and tried to teach their fellow Caucasians, and they ended up teaching the fruits without knowing the roots. That fruit without its roots ends up rotting. So if it's not connected to its source, and not coming from someone who understands that root and source, How much of it do I have the right to talk about? Has this whole 30-day thing been me appropriating a culture, potentially, I don't know.
It's a conversation that…. I mean. First of all, Rish has borne in my mind, something that I've tried to be conscious of by learning about it from videos that have come from an actual Daoist master and a Chinese native from China. The simple things of knowing the different English translation systems, with the Wade-Giles and Pinyin, and how that in itself can change people's interpretation of this whole culture.
The fact that when I've talked about it to people, it's always… is that the Tao, Taoism thing, the Tao Te Ching, and even just that, me doing a tiny bit of research and knowing that it's pronounced Dao, and Knowing even where that comes from.
What things have I picked up that are not the truth?
Half of my research is wading through all this, modern bullshit, and desperate journalists, articles or things that have been written to add more shit on top of these buzzwords. I've been criminal to it. I've committed that way of appropriation as well. Talking about it through only an English channel.
Let's take ‘Wu Wei’, for example, I can never properly understand what wu wei means because it needs a deeply intuitive Chinese mind to understand. You cannot properly understand it unless you grew up in China and have absorbed that culture, being that it's yours. I've only been able to understand this thought bubble, this philosophical idea that should not simply be a philosophical conversation. It links to the whole cultural web. It's linked to the language, so much of its meaning comes from the strokes in which these words are composed.
[For example] England has no understanding of what the letter E [means]. It's not simply a letter that makes up a word, these are symbols that have meanings. This is half the problem with English, these letters we use to speak and communicate, have symbolic meaning, and quite often we're putting spells on ourselves with the words we use without even realizing.
Learning about the Chinese language, and how so much of its meaning is encoded in its written symbols, got me to question my own language and culture. So in that respect, it’s a beautiful thing that I've been able to come into contact with this way of life, given that I’ve never lived in China.
In questioning my own culture I could see behind a curtain that was veiled over my third eye. Even having an understanding of a third eye, has come from another culture that's not come from my ancestors. What right do I have to use that understanding? Especially, since the Caucasian’s third eye is far more calcified and less lubricated than the rest of the world.
Looking at it scientifically, the Caucasian skin tone and nature are mutant to this world. Ignorant to the roots of the Earth because we do not know our own roots. [So we crush people for simply being connected to Her-itage with our oppressive fictional His-story]. Playing along the surface and stealing from whatever seems to excite the mind with no understanding of the heart, the deeper connection to this whole planet, and ancestral lineage.
I was born in Brazil but moved over to England by the time I was two. For me that has put a whole lifelong questioning of identity and where I stand and who I am. I'm clearly not Brazilian, but I do not feel English in any way. I do not associate with the ignorance and the clueless Hate for anything that is not Caucasian. It created this hateful and resentful feeling within me towards my own people and my family, my own ancestors, and that has been a whole journey within itself to learn how to love myself and love the people who came before me.
So what level of Daoism should I have the right to talk about? If my knowledge has really only come from books, videos, and films then applying these thought experiments to real life, then reflecting on them. That is how I've learned about it, connecting with nature and becoming more intuitive to the rhythms of nature, learning a language that is not verbal. This is why it's so beautiful to me because it's not so tied to one nation, even though it comes from China and was born from the shamans in ancient China, 5000 years ago, the Wu shamans.
Really and truly, it's simply about connecting to nature and finding yourself within that and whatever you see yourself growing into and finding your roots within that. Then it's hard because of the conflict between…. the more genealogy I'm interested in, and the further I study myself and my family, the more I see a disconnection between nature.
I guess that is part of this journey for me is… I was born in another country for some reason, only the stars know, and I grew up over here. That has born in me, a drive to understand other cultures, because I never really had a place that felt like I could call home, weirdly. I found home within myself and being an introverted kid that was very much a comfortable place that I got used to. It's a blessing, in a way, because I never felt so stuck to one way of life that I've been free to learn from All. There's been a balance in that, in learning how to not fracture and separate so much that I lose myself in those fractals. But I'm definitely on a mission of some sort: to first of all (within myself) correct the Caucasity that is built into me, to appropriate and take the surface-level best bits and the exotic bits that make me feel less Caucasian, and then learn to work with that. Harmonizing that within myself, and expressing that understanding in some way or another. I hope to shine some light towards my other Caucasian brothers and sisters about the ignorance that we are built in…. “ignorance that we're built in?”
…the tendency to ignore the ignore-ance… the ease of being able to steal because our societal structures are set up to allow that to happen. Learning to second guess where we get our information from and where we get our resources from and understanding the history of our people and other peoples. Not taking everything for face value and questioning what we're being told, because, from experience, it is nothing like I've been told as a kid and even now.
Everything I thought was true is the polar opposite,
which is beautiful but disgusting at the same time.
As a Daoist, what does that mean to be Caucasian?
I don't know.
I'm still learning
peace.
